sunny side up
Sunday, October 14, 2007 @ 5:51 PM
You, if you are a normal person will find smart people around who are always involved with activities, who are studying with great ease and they don't complain they have no time. They go for ALL lectures, manages to score 5 As and has an unending list of ccas and commitments in the record..and still have a great social life.
I always think I'm stupid. It comes back once in while together with other self deprecating thoughts. Kelly this post is my own reflection in response to yours! Yeah so you're not alone. Not stupid stupid but just not as clever, having to slog like a pig before getting evident results. But being a pig, slogging is not a natural instinct. Instinct is laziness, procrastination and recently an annoying habit of skipping lectures to make time which makes me all the more annoyed because it's still not alot of time.
I think this "i think i'm stupid" disease is very crippling. For one, it makes you unaware of your other God-given capabilities and second, you make yourself Really stupid, it's like a mantra that seeps into your psychology and warps it -when I say you, your and yourself, i really mean I, me and myself, trying to sound detached from the self..ha. Thirdly, I am really just too proud thinking that God can't help me.
We were asked for prayer requests today and I had to stop myself from putting studies on the list. Usually we prompt others more so that studies don't become the only thing we pray to God for. But it was the first thing in my head. How then can I not pray for studies when it's right there living in the shadows of everything!
Pastor once said God helps us to do well in studies. So I realised that should pray for the crippling worry instead. Also he can't help me if I'm not studying and doing my work responsibly. I'm glad alpha dinner, wedding dinner, is over so now can do assignment which is due like. tmr.
Alpha dinner went well I heard. 9 out of 20 people signed up, and out of those who didn't sign up, 5 were christians and 3 undecided. I am very very grateful to God for providing the actors, singer and emcees for the skit. Cos so many people had exams, some unsure about schedule, and I was being told to choose people wisely! Thank God for SYFC for giving permission n resources, else no skit!! Wasn't there to see the whole dinner, but was assured that God saw the whole thing thru, no technical hiccups! :)) hee right after R&A dinner (it was sweeet but that's another post), ppl msn me to tell that dinner was "goood" and "cool", I should have seen the skit, that I would have liked it :) Sure I did! Pray that the following sessions will help people to clear uncertainties and to know that if we are unsure, response is to seek, not reject.
ok. long entry. I seriously need to finish my paper and seriously need to stop dreading it. God, am i gonna tahan till year 4.
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